The Juice Of Sapho AKA Purple Drank

Image by AraiyaBomazi via Flickr

I had a rough few days. Actually, I've had a rough week. It all started last Monday when I suddenly started to feel run down and out of breath. Was it the change in temperature? Because I got caught in the rain the night before? Tuesday I had the chills and left work early. Wednessday the same, by Thursday I was feeling horrible and Friday I didn't make it in to work.

I mean I held on man. I held the fuck on. I kept trying to go to work knowing full well I never should have. But now, I'm glad I did. I only got progressively worse the entire weekend and now I have a full blown HORRIBLE chest cold. Everything hurts. My entire body is aching, my throat is sore and this annoying low grade fever isn't going away.

I thought I should do my best to get to work tomorrow, in fact I nearly convinced myself to go today, but when my job gets threatened a second year in a row for the 6 sick days I take a year vs the 6 sick LEAVES everyone else takes well...The powers that be can simply go suck a dick. From now on, I'll take my 6 sick leaves of absence and I would LOVE to hear anyone complain about it because I'll have a Dr.'s note for EACH AND EVERY SINGLE ONE.

I get sick a lot and for the most part I will not call off over a cold even when it's bad, but our office is just not clean enough. It's too dusty and people are dirty fucking pigs so when someone catches a cold or virus it spreads like wildfire. Normally I just go on with my life and pretend the cold isn't affecting me. I hide my illness as much as possible and I go on, but I'm sick of the way we're treated for taking time off. I'm sick of being told I have more absences on my record than anyone else in the office. They have nothing else on me and it's simply not true, but they know I won't question them. I won't challenge them. Employees on some level will always feel guilty about something so they will not usually speak out.

Well, not a problem. I have my time off nice and counted last year as well as every other person I've backed up including the brokers. But this isn't what I intended on writing about. Today out of all the days out of the week that I've already been ill has got to be the worst day. I feel well enough to write, but I can barely see. I'm so sleepy it's not funny and I'm probably a little high. Low...something.

Today I woke up starving. That's the first time in days. I've pretty much had to force myself to eat the last few days. I woke up starving and cranky. Rigid decided he'd be a little on the cranky side himself and he hates it when I make him clean first thing in the morning. I mean, we didn't really do shit, but because he sees how sick I am and he sees that doesn't stop me from picking up a bit AND he sees me lumbering around like a moron he decides to help me.

Now, wanna know what he did? He polished the coffee table and vacuumed the living room. Woop-di-fucking-do! I yelled at him a little to pick up a few items that were lying around and asked him to help me with the laundry. The he sat down to "check his messages". Bullshit, he was playing farkle or something on facebook. Then I said I was hungry and you know what he did? He said he'd go to the grocery store and buy bacon and finally get a big jug water for our dispenser. "We have bacon." I told him.

He suggested I make myself breakfast while he goes to the store because there wasn't much bacon left. I suggested he kiss myass, proceeded to kick his ass and you want to know what he did? He told me to fuck off...but then he took off his jacked and made me breakfast anyway. He's a strange guy...and if you think I didn't literally kick him in the ass you're wrong. I'm just not getting into the details today. This all of course brings me to the Why of the story, Why Purple Drank. Well friends after I kicked my husband in the ass (in a temper mind you) I decided I was having a strange mood swing.

I think when Rigid turned around and took his jacket off instead of clobber me half to death like any man would he had at some point realized it himself. Thing is that hasn't happened to us in a long...LONG time so it was really funny. We had more than enough bacon just like I said and ate a very nice breakfast, but I knew my day would not be complete without a visit to the Dr.

My day absolutely blew by and I didn't get to the Dr's office until 4pm, but I must say it was well worth it. He released me back to work on Wednessday and gave me a little something called Promethazin VC COD. No friends and compatriots...not Call Of Duty...Codeine. Yes...YES!

Yesterday I was in so much pain. Every single joint was hurting. I felt like a crippled arthritic patient and not a single tablet of ibuprofine in site. Pain in the neck...litertally. Today, I'm doing GREAT on the Purple Drank.

Okay, the truth? I feel like shit. I took two doses 1 hr apart and I still feel like CRAP. But I looked up this medication when I got it home and instead of finding all kinds of RX mumbo jumbo I found all these forums talking about Purple Drank. I even learned how to mix it with alcohol, sprite and vicodin...throw in some milk of magnesia into the mix and you've got yourself a fucking killer heart attack just waiting to blow through your chest. What a fucking work we live in. What a fucking work indeed.

You can't even take medication without feeling like a fucking drug addict anymore. I happily took a little more than was prescribed. 2 doses in 1 hr vs the 4/day prescribed, but you see I truly feel like shit. To top it off it didn't do crap for me. Okay, ...yeah, I'm lying a little. I nearly fell over in the bathroom and it made me giggle. Now I'm lying, halfway lying on the couch like a squishy turnip typing with my hands way too high. I could injure myself you know. That would be bad.

Shit my eyes are closing. SO, in conclusion, I may be a little fucked up here and I'm planning on taking a little more in a few minutes to KO me before bed timez kitteh, but I'm really...REALLY sick and can barely breath. This shit has 6.25mg of Promethazin, 5mg of Phenelephrine (antihistamine), and 10 mg of Codeine. To be honest I should be fucking WIRED, but that would only be if I took them seperately. The mix just knocks me on my ass. I'm guessing that's done on purpose. People are less likely to abuse drugs this way...Seriously? WTF is the FDA thinking? Seriously? Toss more drugs into a cough medication to fuck people up worse than just some simple sudafed to deter them from getting high? Um...no that doesn't work. The inventors of Purple Drank can attest to that. They're most likely dead of course, but you get what I'm sayin'.

Anyway, the whole Purple Drank thing flipped me out, but then I started thinking of the Juice of Sapho. Dude...LOL the juice of sapho...I love Dune.

"I'm done man...I'm fucking done." "Time to die."

"It is by will alone I set my mind in motion, it is by the juice of sapho that thoughts acquire speed, the lips aquire stain, the stain becomes a warning it is by will alone I set my mind in motion."