Day One In The ZONE

ZONE diet logo
Originally uploaded by livinlowcarbman
Last night while playing Call of Duty I searched the web for tips on planning my very first zone meal. Yesterday for some reason the likes of which I've yet to understand I decided to go on a diet. I decided I wanted to change my life...temporarily speaking...hence the word diet.

I've been meaning to go see a Dr. about losing weight. Maybe seeing a Psychiatrist, but I've just not gotten around to it. The other day though Rigid came to me and told me that his military unit will be having a ball in April of next year. My heart sank when I looked for dresses online. Firstly just to get and idea of what I might be wearing and secondly to mentally prepare for what's supposed to be a very special and fun day. I'm not always big on special and fun when I don't know what I'm getting into. Upon seeing the available dresses for plus size women I decided I wouldn’t have a choice, but to lose weight. I mean seriously… How the fuck can anyone expect me to fit into any of those dresses without cinching the living fuck out of my ever expanding waist?

Even if I’m all cinched up and tucked in my boobs would look like they would be in danger of spilling out every second and my arms would look like…like…I’D LOOK ALL PUFFY! I don’t want to look puffy. All smooth down the center and puffy everywhere else. And what am I going to do about my tattoo? I’ll have to get long sleeves and all the long sleeve dresses are pretty ugly. I only found 3 that I like and damn did I look. How many long sleeve formal dresses do you think will be available around spring time? HUH? TELL ME THAT? SPRING TIME!

Oh God. Every time I think about it my stomach hurts. This is why yesterday I decided to go on a real honest to god diet. A “I’m just watching what I’m eating.” diet to the rest of the world. Jeezus…my boss just walked by with a stack of scrambled eggs, hash browns and a shit ton of bacon on his plate. What---A---Dick. I love hash browns. They could be my downfall. Will I be able to pull this off for 5 whole months? I want to fit into a size 16 dress again. Size 16…can you believe it? That’s all I want (Okay, size 14 would be better). But I want to be able to do it on my own. No shakes, no herbalife, no gimmicks and no drugs with accidental but welcome side effects. Just me. Just little ‘ole me. I think I can do it. I think I can. I think I can. I think I can….no I KNOW I CAN…oh --- my --- god.

So, as I said before. Last night I perused the internet learning all I could about the Zone diet & planning my first Zone day. My friends at work will be my support & guide. They’re all health nuts. The neighbor by my desk thought I should be on a 5 block diet…When I read about it yesterday I realized he must think I’m grossly obese enough to be able to eat that way. I’d basically have to be a body builder type right? Um…I don’t think I have muscles that big under all this fat and I quite frankly don’t think I have that much fat to support. So I’m sticking with the 3 block guide for a “Large Woman”. I wear Xtra Large blouses and size 20 pants, but my pants are always a little baggy so I could technically still squeeze into a size 18. I just hate tight clothing though.

Okay, enough babble. As I said, I planned my first Zone day and even though it took me hours I think I did a pretty good job. This is what I have planned for today.

PROTEIN: 2 hb Eggs + ¼c Cottage Cheese = 3 Blocks
CARBS: 1 Apple + ½ Orange = 3 Blocks
FAT: 1½ tsp Peanut Butter = 3 Blocks

PROTEIN: ½c Cottage Cheese = 2 Blocks
CARBS: ½ Orange + Carrot = 2 Blocks
FAT: 1 tsp Peanut Butter = 2 Blocks

PROTEIN: 1 hb Egg + 2 Tukey Slices = 3 Blocks
CARBS: 2 Celery Sticks + 2/3c Boiled Potato = 3 Blocks
FAT: 2/3 tsp Mayo + 3 Pecan Halves = 3 Blocks

You’re supposed to stay away from caffeine, but I refuse so I had plain black coffee. I might have a little tea later, but I brought a lemon for my water. I should be able to make that little lemon last no problem so I’m not counting that. I can have lemon in my water for god sakes. *sigh* No soda…meh. No gum…MEH. Wait! I just looked. I can haz if I it’s sugar free! SEE "Chewing gum appears to increase the release of serotonin in the brain, which would give a calming influence. I would not be too concerned about the small amount of artificial sweeteners in the gum." ~Dr. Sears.

So far big Yay and well, yeah, not feeling great yet, but I know I will soon. I’m looking forward to having the energy to turn my Kinect workout games on when I get home without thinking twice about it. I just have to get a good rhythm going. Damn…seeing kind of foggy right now. Light headed.